Leaps of faith

So I can't tell you how much you mean to me. I share with you everything and am not sure how to begin. I express my love in actions, whereas you have words. I have taken more leaps of faith with you than any other person I have ever known. Most think it started with a broom but I know better. I remember our first date. It was a huge risk for us to go out. Neither knew what to expect and all we knew was we were willing to jump blindly. I remember when I didn't understand what we were and made out with another guy. The third date became a giant leap for you. Did you trust me to not break your heart? Sometimes I am pretty sure you trust me more than I do. I was completely unsure of the wedding in general and believe me it took every (b)ounce of faith and hope to get me to the altar.
Now in the coming months our lives will once again be taking a huge leap of faith. I am sure it shows more love to take a risk on someone than to just say it. I almost tested your ability to gamble on me by quitting tonight. I found out my boss has been disparaging about me behind my back to my coworkers. I broke down and just about quit, in fact I still will be writing my termination/resignation letter. However, I know that you aren't ready for that leap yet. The coming months scare me. I don't know what future is in store, nor could postulate what might happen. The negative looms in my mind and my voice goes hoarse and fingers go numb. My body is in knots and my stomach is sick. The only thing I do know is that I love you enough to risk it all. I love you enough to take a leap of faith. I couldn't quit because of my sake but eventually I will for yours. I am venturing once again into the unknown. It seems love is more like Jason and the Argonauts. Here we stand setting sail into the unknown. We will venture again into the abyss with the only assurance that someone is with you taking the same risks. I could not do it alone. The future petrifies me but you make it worth the adventure, and that is my love.
Thank you for standing by me during my Sisyphean struggles with Herculean effort. If anyone doubts love I hope they ponder this; When you are willing to risk everything for someone else, you are engulfed in the tides of the unknown, but have nothing to fear. I can't measure my love in cups or inches. I can tell you it is my everything, including my leap of faith. I will follow you forever because in giving my all you are all I have and that is more than enough. As another famous same-sex pairing said "Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you: for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge: your people shall be my people, and your God my God." In this is my love. Please be willing to once again leap with me into the unforeseeable.


I see your invitations, which haven't been made yet, have arrived. Therefore I am speaking to you from the past. We have decided to use this as a way to disseminate information quickly and easily to all of you. I am sure you have a lot of questions related to our wedding. These will range from the typical mundane questions like color palette, location, and where we registered to the more complex questions like why we are getting married, how to legally go about a same sex marriage and why we don't feel this is destroying society but strengthening it.

I guess we are expecting a lot out of this blog until the end of June. We hope you find this as entertaining and informative as possible. I know with your help with comments we can solidify ourselves as a community of friends and family, as vibrant and different as ever.

As far as all the details go, we are not registered yet, Michael wanted to do it this weekend, but I feigned ill to avoid it. We are looking at which places would be convenient for the majority of the guests as well as helpful and nice for us, with price being an overriding factor. You should be so lucky that we both are... ummm.. frugal to say the least.

This is also my first experience being at the helm of a blog so forgive me for the newbie mistakes. Michael has had some time to formulate and put his thoughts into writing in his blog. So this is a chance for me to spread my literary wings also. I cannot promise excellence, however snark comes at no additional cost.

Tips, tricks and hints are appreciated on how I can make this convenient for you, really, truly this is for you. I hope you find yourself at home and able to say anything here. We truly wouldn't be here with out your unconditional love for us.


Sometimes we don't have black and white answers. Life usually becomes a mixed up mess between how we feel and how we act. It doesn't get easier for anyone and it affects all of us regardless of our life situation. Yesterday I received an email response about our proposal. Without wanting to hurt or offend I feel obligated to respond. I am sure many of you out there have the same questions and confusions as this dear friend of mine has expressed. Needless to say coming out has been both relieving and has caused immense rifts between old deep friendships. In this letter was a lot of love mixed with hurtful comments.
First off I want to express gratitude for being open and honest, I have become that way and it has lead to more happiness than I have ever known. I hope you know how much I truly love you. With out your consent I will post some parts of the letter, hoping to assuage my conscience the content will not be person specific and be rendered in complete anonymity.
In this letter this individual stated a concern about how even attending this wedding would be an affront to her deeply held religious views, and would be showing support for something she doesn't believe in, a marriage between two men. I would like to point out a few things as I know most of the attendees to this wedding are deeply religious and we respect their views completely. I have my own religious views and hope to give everyone room to dissent to how I feel as dissent causes deep reflection and hopefully a broader paradigm for all of us.
Ok before I get lost on a tangent, which happens a lot... I will talk about this tricky situation between showing love for a friend and holding to your religious dogma. We, as Latter-Day Saints, and those with a background in it, respect other cultures and different points of view as we know Christ did in his earthly ministry. He did not hang out with the religiously pious or devout holy men of his time, though we know those that flocked to him were in ways deeply spiritual or in need of spiritual healing. He led a impeccable life among the prostitutes and tax men, serving those that needed him the most. Being with them he did not condone their actions or need to justify his association with them, it just was. I feel he would want those that feel we are immoral to come and express love as he gave love to ALL around him. With that in mind let's examine two scenarios that explain my views in regard to the sanctity of marriage:
1) A completely committed loving homosexual couple living together leading the best life they feel they can.
2) A heterosexual drunken marriage in Vegas for the sole purpose of "intercourse." Which they hope to get annulled after the fact.
The doctrine this woman is describing says that marriage 2 is looked more favorably upon by God, just because they happen to have different genitalia (though not for the alcohol), while marriage 1 is an abomination deserving the hell-fire described by Jonathan Edwards. I firmly disagree with this notion. I feel what honors any sort of familiar unit that edifies society and strengthens one's commitment to live a good life is inherently better than any bond that promotes self gratification above love or longevity. If any organization wants to argue on moral or ethical ground, that is their right.
I am sure we can understand where this woman is coming from. We assume that association means you fully support and condone. If you associate with a political party, it is assumed you support every stance of that political party. We also realize this is broad-based misinformation, for most political people disagree with their party on at least one issue. I hold the same to be true about association with our wedding, by coming doesn't mean you condone or accept our marriage as valid, but that you love us and want us happy.
Also I would like to give you one more example that may hit close to home. Latter-Day Saints hold that any marriage outside of the Temple falls short in the eyes of God and is not acceptable, regardless of whomever it is. This is why the Church urges all who are worthy to enter those walls and make solemn covenants with your significant other. However when a Son or Daughter of God marries outside of the covenant it doesn't stop the LDS community from showing support. My sister had her reception held inside a chapel even though her marriage was viewed as somewhat less-than in LDS eyes. This same woman who sent me this email married outside the covenant and people still came. If you apply the same rationale as to why you aren't going to my wedding, you are saying no one should go to ANY wedding outside the Temple. It is not a sign of support for my lifestyle or choices. It showing support for me, personally.
I accept your decision to not come and hope you know it will not affect our friendship. I also hope you change your mind on whether or not to come. If someone would not want me in a stable loving relationship as opposed to leading what is viewed as a stereotypical gay lifestyle they seriously should reexamine their views. It is immensely better for us to commit and live the most Christ-like life we can than live a life like the many men like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig, ruining so many lives, because we all realize the truth shall set us free. Come and lets let God sort out the details.